doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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