She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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