Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
someone threw a dead crab at me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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