her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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