fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Welp...herpes.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
