I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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