Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
