if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
