I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
40s are totally the cure
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize