I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
