Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
