What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
