she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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