I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
sex in a hospital.. check
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
