i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
