Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
