Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
