final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
