this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I wish i was in the wii world.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize