Your face is a jimmy john
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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