I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
