yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
