awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
