For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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