i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
