i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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