she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
