non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's blow job season.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
