I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize