I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
