so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
