He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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