It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
