Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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