dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
