And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
