omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
