Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
His hands were made for my vagina.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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