Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
