a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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