I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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