yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
