How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
