I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
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