some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
