i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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