At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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