btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
