She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
