You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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