You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
