It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
