Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
