so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize