batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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