Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
