dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
